Zombie Proofing your Home Theater



It’s not a question of if there will be a zombie plague; you should be asking “when?” Even the Centers for Disease and Control Prevention issued an official zombie outbreak preparedness guide. Don’t head for the hills (just yet), secure the perimeter of your house, and wait out the apocalypse right in the comfort of your dear home theater.

Defend Windows and Doors

Windows and doors are your first line of defense. However, they are also vulnerable spots. Lock and block all ground-level points of entry. Zombies may not have good motor skills, but their hunger for your brains and their physical strength are strong enough to break open doors and windows. Installing a home alarm system to monitor every entryway is a smart move. Your home theater already has heavy curtains and drapes, but boarding up the windows with plywood or other materials like benches, ping pong tables, futons, etc. both inside and outside, would be a good countermeasure.

Barricade Fences and Walls

Barbed wires. Spikes. Broken bottles. Summon your inner MacGyver, gather sharp objects from around your home and defend your perimeter. A jagged border around your property slows down zombies. They are impervious to pain and they will keep coming. Your border defense insures that they are in bad shape when they get to you. Take down these easy kills from the security of your home theater/bunker.

Stock Up on Supplies

Water, food, and medicine are the essentials for survival. Once you’ve got all these necessities covered, you’ll want something to keep you occupied and entertained. Chances are boredom can kill you just as much as a zombie bite could.  Building a zombie fortress right in your home theater or entertainment room couldn’t be more ideal. You can watch your favorite DVDs, play your video games, play darts, or play on game tables. Lay low with these activities to keep you sane – and let the worst of times blow over.

Invest in a Generator

Without electricity your home theater will provide more frustration than relief from tedium. Get a generator. Get two generators. We don’t know how long the electricity will stay on after a zombie outbreak. We don’t know how long it will take to restore our social structures. Be prepared.

Learn to Adapt

Your most important weapon when the zombie plague hits is common sense. Run across empty fields? No. Leave your house? No. Ride into town on a horse? Major no. Your best friend got a suspicious cut? Take him down. Trust your instinct. Learn to adapt. And the most important rule: don’t kill Bill Murray.

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